“Hearing everything we had been talking about come to life in music was incredible” Nicci’s blog

In November 2020, I lost my eldest son, Billy, after he took a party drug called MDMA. What he took was too pure something there is simply no way of knowing. Billy died just three days after his 24th birthday, and we were absolutely devastated.

Billy had always loved music and played the guitar, so when I first heard about Swan Song, I felt drawn to it. I was curious could I create a song for Billy?

Getting in touch was easy. Before long, I had spoken to Ben, who arranged an online meeting with Jamie, the person who would help bring my song to life. Although I lived a long way from Jamie, everything was simple to do over Zoom. I remember feeling nervous before our first meeting, but Jamie quickly put me at ease. I explained that I wanted the song to feel as though it was coming from Billy himself, a kind of warning about what had happened to him. Jamie listened carefully to everything I shared, understood what I wanted to say, and even agreed to sing the song himself.

Jamie was fantastic, and the sessions were incredibly powerful. We spent time listening to the kinds of music Billy loved, which helped shape the direction of the song. Before long, the words began to take form, and Jamie would email me after each session so I could reflect on them and prepare for the next one. Then came the chorus. Hearing everything we had been talking about come to life in music was incredible it made everything feel real in a way I hadn’t expected.

Before long, it was finished, and I had a complete song to remember Billy by. I couldn’t wait to share it with my husband and my youngest son although I think they were slightly relieved it wasn’t me singing, ha ha.

They both found it incredibly powerful, and for me, the whole process really helped me talk about what had happened and express what I wanted the song to say. Jamie was fantastic both writing the song and the playing and singing, he had great way of working out what I wanted to say. I was also sent a copy of the song on a CD, which feels like such a special and lasting way to keep it forever.

Nicci Parish. April 2026